T'was the Night Before an Adam Schiff Christmas

It was a cold December night in Washington D.C. A chill filled the House, empty for the Christmas holiday. One lone soul was left - Adam Schiff had nowhere to go, as no one wanted him around, having alienated everyone, including the most deplorable of his fellow congressmen and women. And despite it being Christmas, Republicans were not ready to be forgiving, as the damage done was deep and lasting.

He thought at first to try and brighten his predicament by regaling himself with the poem, "T'was the Night Before Christmas". He began, "T'was the night before Christmas and all through this Democrat House, not a soul was left standing except for a louse. Congress in recess and gone is the fun, and I, a pariah, as impeachment is done."

"Wait", he cried, "That's not how it goes. I just made that up - a parody!"

As he walked down the near empty K Street, known for adult entertainment and lobbyists, looking for his friends, poor Adam found himself cold and alone. Almost.

From back in an alley muggers appeared. "Is that you, Ghislaine? Uncle Harvey? Nah, it must be my little buddy, Nadler. When WOP! That was the last thing he heard before unconsciousness set in.

And that is when he saw him - standing over Adam was none other than George Washington, himself. Yes, the man who could not tell a lie was towering over the man who could not tell the truth.

"I know this is D.C. and delusions are the norm", said Adam, "but this is stranger than finding an  honest Democrat in this town. What manner of magic is this?" 

"I am the ghost of Christmas, Schiffty," said George in his booming, authoritative voice. "I am here to offer you one chance to redeem yourself, and in doing so save the Constitution from being tattered.  BR-R-R -- I shudder at the thought that you will likely fail."

"E're this night is over you will be visited by the ghost of Christmas past, the spirit of Christmas present and the phantom of Christmas future." boomed George. "And when you come out of your stupor in the morn, you will either be repentant and vow to never lie again, and to treat the Constitution with reverence and respect, or..."
Adam belligerently belted out, "Or what", Georgie boy?"

"Or you will spend the rest of your days living in a tent on a sidewalk in Los Angeles, and every day Nancy Pelosi will stop by and spit in your tin cup", George boomed.

At that, Adam just sneered and said, "Too bad I wasn't around 230 years ago - I woulda impeached YOUR ass, too!"

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